Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
