you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
