I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
so much tequila, so little girl.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
