Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I need to calm my uterus...
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
