two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
