you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
