I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
