Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
