I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
