I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
