Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I had to cum in my sink.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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