dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
We need to feng shui this bitch.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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