Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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