yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Randomize
