didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
