Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
