Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
