i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
