I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
