i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
