shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
