break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
