Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
