guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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