how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
