Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
