Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
