I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
