So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
