Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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