I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
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