He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I am mentally ready for anal.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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