yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
