One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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