You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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