The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
