sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
