i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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