I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
