For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
