Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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