a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
