Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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