Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
