im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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