Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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