At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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