yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
