i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
