You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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