Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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