put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
