dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
