everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
