butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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