i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize