I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
