Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
