I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
