If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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