Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
