just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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