found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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