i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
