fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
